I'm at the stage with my app development where I've looking at writing a description for my app which will appear on iTunes. I thought it would be a good idea to have a look at my nearest competition and I thought I'd also look to see what blue had written.
Before I start, I'd just like to summarize my beliefs and expectations on what I think I'll find. As with any sales copy I know you have to sell benefit not features first, then go into the features. Also being iTunes you have to take into account how people will look at your description and how long they will spend looking. So app icon / logo and screen shots are very important. I'm wondering if a lot of text is a good idea.
OK, I printed out some descriptions, I noticed that there's two different description, one for the US and one for GB, so I'm guessing you must be able to write a different description for each country / language.
I've only found the GB description for Blues app, I think he just sells to the UK not the US. Oddly his price appears in dollars. Whereas the others I have printed are in pounds or dollars, for the respect description country pages.
Blues opening line sells the benefits of the app, he then talks about the features and how to use the app for three paragraphs. Oh at this point, he and there other printouts, have a more link, which makes the screen shots more visible and stops people having the read too much if they just want to glance at the page, good idea.
On paragraph five through seven he talks about the benefits, I think I'd have put this at the start, then he has a sentence about user comments, showing that he's going to be around in the future to produce an update.
Unlike my other printouts, blue doesn't have any customer reviews, which are shown at the bottom of the page.
Printouts 2 and 3, US and GB. Heres, we have a line about the features then some feature bullet points and then a link to a video. This sounds like a good idea in principle, but what if they look at the video and then decide not to download the app, hmmm. I think with it being so little effort to install an app it would be easier to do that. But I guess it would cost you to install. Hmmm, not sure on this one, I guess a video might be a good idea.
We've then got several meaty paragraphs (much more than blue wrote) , one for each screen in the app.
We then have a short list of one line reviews, which look good. I think this guy should have put his benefits up front and then the reviews, then gone into the functionality, I'm not so sure providing lots of text is such a good idea. However, you do have the more link after the first paragraph, so I guess you do have the option not to read.
Having said that people do like to read the description, especially when it may stop them wasting their money. My gut feeling is that having them read too much, when they could try the app instead, is a bad idea. Screen shots don't look that fun, all numbers etc. Then has the reviews, which look good.
Print out three is almost identical except from some different terms (language specific) and different reviews.
Print outs four and five are nice and short, the opening paragraph finishes mid sentence before the more button, I like that shows there's more to read. But it does make you think if I read this I should read the rest. But then there isn't a lot to read. I like that. The first paragraph is all about the benefits, there's then a feature list. Actually that paragraph is different for US and GB. The screen shots look very good and only the US has reviews.
To summarise, blues description, he's made the screen shots prominent, he's got one sentence and the more link. I think this is a good idea, however I think he could have more than a sentence, it looks lacking. Looking at my other printouts, a paragraph looks better. I think he should have the benefits next.
I think having a features list looks good, I think you kind of expect it, a way to compare with other apps. I think that can consume a lot of the content you could waffle on about.
So what am I going to do, have an opening paragraph on benefits, have my more link, then a feature / benefit list. I guess I might talk a bit about the app next in a paragraph or two, taking care to mention the benefits. Maybe I could add a video too, I'm not 100% sure on that. In the future I think after the benefits I should add some one line reviews.
by JM
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